It’s the quiet.
The unyielding silence that envelops you even as the music blares.
It’s the dark.
The bleakness of a room in shades of grey even as the sun shines in on a clear day.
It’s the numbness.
The pain so all consuming, you ignore it until it leaves you alone, even as it still takes your breath away.
It’s the sadness.
The tears that fall even when the spark of joy that you once felt lingers beneath the surface, just out of grasp.
It’s the loneliness.
The solitude of feeling alone in a room full of people, even when longing for a connection. It’s the mask.
The smile on your face while you hide your lost self inside, even when you want to tear it off and ask for help.
It’s the contradictions of knowing what it is and being unable to fix it.
It can be loud, and it can be quiet.
It can be light, and it can be dark.
It can be pain and numbness, and sadness and joy.
It can be lonely, and too crowded at once.
It can overcome, and it can overwhelm.
It is what it is.